


Weather to Fly

by omen1x2



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Healthy Relationships, M/M, craig cahn is the kinkiest motherfucker in the world when your kink is healthy relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 00:39:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11680392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omen1x2/pseuds/omen1x2
Summary: There comes a time in everyone's lives when they wonder, "Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why don't more people appreciate ska as the brilliant art form it really is?"Amanda goes off to college and it's existential crisis time.





	Weather to Fly

“Dude. Is this how you spend your time when I’m not around?”

I blink one bleary eye open and turn my head from my slightly musty comforter, trying to focus. Craig stands at the edge of my bed, and he’s holding the key I gave him in front of his face, as if he’s worried I somehow forgot he had it, and he had to resort to shimmying down my (nonexistent) chimney or stealthily breaking a window or something to get in here.

“Mmmrgh,” I answer.

Craig smiles and crawls onto the bed beside me, propping himself up on the headboard and crossing his feet at the ankles. I’d complain about him getting shoes on my bed, and he’d probably not even argue, just smile and kick them off and totally ignore the fact that I had never bothered to take off my own since getting back from the airport, but, honestly, I just lack the energy.

Craig’s chest looks awfully comfortable. I flop around like a landed fish until I manage to have my head positioned somewhere on it and decide that’s good enough. Craig apparently agrees because he reaches a hand over and pets my hair. It’s nice.

“That’s my armpit, bro.”

Whatever.

“I asked Smashley to take the girls for the weekend. Figured I had another person I needed to baby for a few days.”

I wriggle around enough to work a hand out from under me and shove a finger in Craig’s face.

He laughs. “And she said to tell you that she’s super pissed you haven’t come by to see her. She’s got a whole bottle of Cheez Whiz with your name on it, bro.”

Ooo.

“No crackers, just straight from the can, ‘like the good old days.’”

Ooooooo.

“It’s taking all of her motherly power to keep the girls away from it until you get there so, you know, better act fast.”

I shove myself out of Craig’s armpit and roll onto my back to stare at the ceiling.

“Back to the land of the living, huh?”

“I will have you know that cheese contains magical rejuvenating properties. Even mentioning it can cause miracles.”

“Dude, I’m pretty sure there’s no actual cheese in Cheez Whiz.”

“No, it’s even better than that. More pure. When I die, I want you to bury me with at least twenty cans of it, so that I can come back even more powerful than ever before. I will use my armies of cheese-infused zombies to take over the world.”

Craig takes pity on my obvious rambling by running with my lame dad joke. “Until you’re defeated by lactose intolerance.”

“Curses! My sworn enemy.”

In the silence that follows, Craig reaches for my hand and pulls it onto his chest, cupping it in both of his. “How’d she like it?”

“Oh, she’s in love already. She saw a bus advertising an exhibit for some guy named Robert Frank and nearly threw herself out of the taxi to go find it.”

“Did you tell her taxis can change their destination?”

“Look, I’m not about to tell her _all_ of life’s secrets. Some things can only be learned from experience.”

The sunshine beam of a smile that erupts from Craig’s face is too pure to be called “proud,” or “gratified,” or anything even remotely condescending, but it totally is.

I throw a pillow in his face and he just laughs before throwing the pillow back at me and damn near suffocates me.

Asshole.

After nearly killing me, Craig pats my leg and climbs out of bed. “Come on, bro. Pack your things.”

I stare at him blankly, wondering if I’d blacked out at some point because the fuck is he talking about.

“You’re gonna come stay with me for the weekend, bro.”

I am?

“Dude. No way I’m leaving you alone in this house overnight. I’ll come over tomorrow and you’ll have cried yourself to sleep watching _The Little Mermaid_ again.”

“Hey! That movie is _very sad_!”

Craig doesn’t say anything, but his eyebrow is very eloquent.

“Her father only wants what’s best for her!”

His other eyebrow chooses to join the conversation.

“… Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

~*~*~*~

With all the inevitability of the sun rising in the east, Craig’s first words the moment I step through the door are, “Sorry about the mess! I didn’t have a chance to clean up first.”

He then promptly moves over to the coffee table, where a lone dirty plate sits, and scurries to the kitchen.

I make my way through the house to Craig’s room. It’s not the first time I’ve stayed here, but it is the first time without any of his girls around, and it’s weird how quiet it is.

Craig finds me later with my bag by my feet, just staring at a picture on Craig’s night stand. There’s several of them, but my eyes just can’t move off of the newest one.

Strong dad arms wrap around my waist and Craig’s chin perches on my shoulder.

“Craig… I’m having an existential crisis. Like, I’m a dad. What does a dad do when he no longer has a child to be a dad to? Do I make dad jokes to my lamp? Am I supposed to make sandwiches for my recliner? What purpose is left for a dad like me?”

“Dude. Your daughter has grown up into an awesome little lady and you’ve sent her off into the world so she can make it a little more awesome too. That’s, like, peak dadding. You are the supreme dad, unto which all other dads can only aspire.”

I can feel tears itching at my eyes, like a _loser_.

Craig’s voice whispers softly into my shoulder, “Alex would be so proud of you. Of both of you. I know I am.”

And yeah, there they go.

“Remember when Smashley and I first met Amanda? Like, I was terrified to pick her up because what if I _broke her_ , dude? And you shoved her in my arms and Smashley said, and I quote, ‘Nut up, bucko. Babies can sense fear.’”

I huff out something that could be called a laugh if we’re feeling charitable. Like, ‘I need to give away half my life-savings to save endangered wasps’ charitable.

“And Alex stood there the whole time looking like he was all set to catch Amanda any second because I _so did not_ _know how to hold a baby_ , why did you trust her with me, dude, are you crazy?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what you said then, too.”

“And then she kind of gurgled at me and it was really cute.”

“And then she vomited in your face.”

Craig nudges me. “Like father, like daughter.”

“Hey, man, I only did that-”

“ _Twice_. You did it twice. At least Amanda only did it that one time.”

“She probably would have beaten my record, but Alex took her away from you.”

“Yeah, because _you_ were too busy laughing to do much of anything.”

“It was a moment of pride for me, that my daughter was carrying on the family tradition.”

Craig kisses my super manly cheek, which is in no way covered in tears and maybe snot. “She’ll do good.”

“Yeah.” I make a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whimper. But, like, the manliest whimper imaginable. “I… I just miss her.”

“Yeah, babe.” Craig’s arms tighten around me. “I know.”

~*~*~*~

Something’s shaking me.

“Bro.”

Stop it. Let me sleep.

“Bro, come on.”

“Mmmrph.”

“I’ll stop shaking you when you wake up.”

“Mmmgrrr.”

“You’ll thank me in a minute.”

“Ffffffffgrrrrrrr.”

“Don’t make me throw you out of bed.”

“Wuuuuuuddddddddnnnnn.”

“I so would, now get your tight ass up already, dude.”

I blink open one eye and glare in the approximate general area of my tormenter.

Who holds up a phone with a grin. “Amanda’s calling.”

I leap out of bed and just manage to grab the phone before falling to the floor, tangled in the sheets. “Panda?” I say, slightly muffled by the comforter and possibly a pillow.

“Hey, Pops! How’s it hanging?”

Craig, the traitor, pipes up from somewhere above me. “He is, quite literally, hanging off my bed.”

I’d flick him off, but I can hear my precious baby girl laughing through the phone and also I’m not certain I could navigate through the layers on top of me in order to free a hand.

“I don’t have a lot of time because my roommate wants to go out and do the sightseeing thing before our lives are completely taken over by classes, but I wanted to call and it’s easier to pretend like I’m cool when no one’s around to know you exist and lower my street cred.”

“Hey! I’m cool.”

“Sure, Pops.”

I preen. See? I’m cool.

“So I now know why pizza here is considered such A Big Thing. Like, wow. I don’t know if I’ll eat anything else while I’m here.”

“That’s my girl. Remember, you can vary your diet by doing something as simple as changing the toppings.”

“And one of the places my roommate wants to go is, like, a science museum? Why would anyone want to subject themselves to a thing like that?”

We both share a shudder over the phone.

“I hope I raised you right, baby. I hope you’re angling for food stops in between each nerdy museum.”

“Oh, you know it. If there’s a hot dog stand, then I am _so there_.”

My brain finally wakes up with the rest of me and I realize the shape of the phone I’m holding is different.

“Did you… call Craig’s phone? To talk to me?”

“Pfft, _yeah_. If he wasn’t over there trying to keep your dumb ass from faceplanting into the towel rack then you’d have to send him to remedial boyfriend school.”

“Hey!” I exclaim, unsure which part of her statement I’m exclaiming against, but I feel like it deserves an exclamation.

“Anyway, I’ve gotta go! Love you, Pops!”

“Love you too, Panda. Miss you.”

“Miss you, too.”

I throw the phone out from my nest and manage to crawl out after it.

Craig’s smile, when I look up at it, is amused and fond and happy and pretty much like every other smile he’s ever given me. “Want to go out for a bit?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I think I do.” I take a deep, fortifying breath. Oh. “Not right now, though. I kind of reek.”

“Hey, man, I wasn’t going to say anything.”

I flick Craig off and turn on my heel, ready to put my game face on and face the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks, Elbow, for both the title and the song it's named after that absolutely did not make me cry while writing this fic.


End file.
